Have you been married for a long time? Does it seem like you have known your significant other forever? Has the spark of your sex life completely gone out that you have do you find it increasingly difficult to experience a truly earth-shattering and intense, extended orgasm with your partner? Does she have a tough time getting excited over sex? If any of these questions apply to you, please understand that sexual arousal is mostly mental and emotional.
Unfortunately, we live in a society where physical arousal takes top billing and this is where a lot of people get the sex game wrong. If you want to play the game right, you need to make sure that all pieces are in play. However, a lot of people just focus on the physical elements. They focus on getting wet, getting hard and getting physically aroused. Believe it or not, a lot has to happen first for a physical arousal to take place and more importantly, for this type of arousal to be maintained and intensified later on.
You have to pay attention to what is going on in your head. You have to be clear as to what you are feeling. Unfortunately so many couples look at sex as just one of those drives that they have to immediately and quickly satisfy. It is not so much different from going to the bathroom, drinking, eating or seeking shelter. It is just another biological need that you have. It is really not all that much different from your other biological needs. Now, do you see where the problem lies? Do you see what is wrong with this picture?
If you are serious about reigniting your love life and extending your sex life, you need to rediscover the power of rituals. The right rituals take your sexual sensitivity and personal eroticism both as individuals and as a couple, to a much higher level. If you have been simply going through the motions and considering sex as just another commodity, and you do not see much difference between good and bad sex, if you focus more on the volume, you have to take matters into your own hands. You have to take the initiative and you both have to buy into the right rituals.
What are the right rituals?
Keep in mind that rituals are both foreplay and seduction. People can understand what foreplay means. Now, most people think that it is all about oral sex or about certain types of preliminary positions. Well, that is true but that is just a part of the puzzle, a small piece of a larger picture.
Sexual arousal is mostly mental and emotional. Your choice of foreplay must keep this in mind. It must further that the whole notion of seduction. Each and every time you have sex with your partner, it should be a rediscovery of each other’s sexual attraction. It should be a celebration of what you find so sexy in each other. This is where seduction comes in.
You are re-establishing yourself with your partner. You are communicating to her in no uncertain terms: how important she is to you and how much you desire her. Now, this desire is not just physical desire. It is not just a question of certain bodily functions. It is something more than that. You have to use rituals to trigger these emotional and mental signals so as to fully turn each other on.
Engage as many of your senses as possible. Sex has to be something that you can see, taste, touch, smell and hear. Otherwise, you are leaving something big off the table. Otherwise it is incomplete. To get the process going, one key part of your sex rituals can involve physical triggers like Spanish fly.
Spanish fly is so powerful that it has the same effect on people as placebos and other chemical triggers are. It is anybody’s guess what the actual aphrodisiac effect is. But that is really beside the point. When people are given supplementation, they assume certain things. This changes their sense of possibility. Ultimately, it changes the way they act.
The moment you change the way you act, as far as your sex partner is concerned, is that the moment when you are giving yourself an opportunity to take your love life to the next level. Apply and look for as many different rituals and physical triggers as possible. It maybe an aphrodisiac food or aphrodisiac compound like Spanish Fly or it may involve Viagra. Whatever the case may be, use these rituals to remind each other why you find each other so sexy and why you cannot live without each other.
Remember, sex must be a celebration. It is not a selfish act where you are trying to just get pleasure courtesy of your partner. It is not a process of extraction. Instead, it is a process of excitement and addition. You are trying to create beautiful music together. You are trying to put things together instead of chopping things apart and figuring out what is yours and what you have coming for you. You go from being self-absorbed and selfish to selfless and giving. That is the ultimate core of truly amazing sex.
The ultimate form of pleasurable sex is when you get so excited about what you can give that your senses all wake up. All pistons are firing-from your emotions to your rational faculties to, of course, your body. When you get this lit up, every lick, every intense look, every hot whisper lights up your nerves-and the moment becomes electric. That’s all that matters. The moment you find yourself truly alone with your partner and celebrating each other’s charms is when you enter a truly special place of intimacy, intensity, and authenticity.
This is the essence of great sex. It’s all about realizing that you are truly bonded with another person. You do it not just for the physical pleasure or what is in it for you. Instead, it turns you on because you truly love seeing the other person pleasured. That’s when you cross the threshold from ‘I’ to ‘we.’